Geez! Way to ruin a burger . . .

I'm an anomaly when it comes to hamburgers.  Apparently, cheese on a burger is all kinds of awesome to most Americans.

Well not this American.  

I'm not a fan of cheese in general.  I grew up biting into too many mistakes.  Namely, I assumed something was American cheese and it turned out to be very sharp cheddar or something.

So I just grew to not like any cheese except melted mozzarella.  Major yum.  

Goat cheese and feta on salads is OK.  

Cheddar is the devil.  

And parmesan smells like vomit.  So why would I eat that?

I was doing some last minute shopping and hit my wall where if I don't eat something I will end up in jail for randomly smacking strangers.  McDonald's $1 menu to the rescue.  

I inhaled the chicken sandwich but discovered the double burger had a messy maker.  The extra ketchup was all over the place.  I can't hold a mess like that and drive.  

I get home and discover another piece of yuckiness.  It has cheese. Blech! 

However, a HOT hamburger with HOT melted American cheese is indeed delicious.  Thank God for microwaves.

Really though, my ultimate hamburger is comprised as follows:

soft sesame seed bun

thick BROILED burger well done

SLICED (not diced) white onion

one pickle slice

one firm ripe sliced tomato (not MUSHY ripe)

iceberg lettuce

Ketchup (lots)

tiny dab of A1

mayo 

mustard (a dab or two)

I think that covers it.  It's not this McMess: