Friday, January 14, 2011

Super Heroes and Canker Sores

Funny how it's rarely the monumental things that brings me to my knees?  This week, several inches of snow and ice fell and is still taking its time to go away.  I managed that.  

The post office put my Christmas gifts in a mail bin but gave me the wrong key.  No gifts.  No problem.

Today I have a canker sore just under the tip of my tongue.   Obviously, my life is over!

I would much rather deal with Snowpocalypses and Grinch Christmases than stubborn invisible eyelashes in my eye, styes, (basically eyelid pimples), splinters in my fingertips and worst of all . . . CANKER SORES!   

Salt water rinses, Anbesol, ice to numb it, aspirin . . . I've tried it all and the pain from something about the size of the tip of my ball point pen just won't go away.  It is still so sheer and exquisite it has clouded my whole day.   

Food, water, non-spicy, spicy, warm beverage, cold beverage, no food, no beverage, hand stands, hokey pokies, River Dancing . . . everything and nothing aggravates it.  That's the worst pain.  Aargh!

I think I'm gonna create a comic book hero.  But no fancy powers like giant spider webs that shoot from wrists or magic capes to fly.  That's for lightweights.

My super hero can huff and puff and blow an eyelash between a villain's eyeball and their contact lenses - essentially crippling them.

Merely touching a villain's face with their magic gloves produces styes, (eyelid pimples) -  basically maiming them.

And with a mere concentrated and steady gaze at a villain's mouth, they can give them canker sores the size of pencil erasers . . . in essence, killing them.    

After all, I figure if a canker sore the size of a pen tip has me on death's door, a canker sore the size of an eraser would amount to a nuclear Armageddon!  You're welcome Marvel Comics!



superman

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